How come things sound so much better in French?

Just picture, if you will, Francophile Prussian king Frederick the Great strolling through the impeccably manicured park of Sanssouci near Potsdam, chatting with his pal Voltaire about Dieu et la monde as he watches his favorite whippet "Biche" chase a rabbit into the sculpted boxwoods...

A picture deeply immersed in culture and sophistication, wouldn't you agree? Of course, once you strip the layers of Kultur and pretense, all a cynic like myself ends up with is a scrawny, bug-eyed old man with a rug yelling "C'mere, Bitch!" after his nut-brained, inbred mutt.

I was reminded of this during a chat with one of my French relatives who likes to goad me by bouncing off the usual solipsistic Euro-prejudices about North America. And when it comes to Zippergate, European sophisticates tend to talk the talk of the most intellectually challenged American Clinton apologist...only that their arguments make more sense when presented with a French accent.

But to be honest: I don't care a whit about Clinton and impeachment. What interests me at this point is who's next in line for the presidency.

I recently found a 1991 report we had put out. Uncharacteristically, we had spent lavishly on cartoons to illustrate it. The main cartoon showed the Capitol with Japanese and German flags waving in the wind. (Remember, that was when the Japanese were sinking shiploads of dough into the States...)

But there was also a tongue-in-cheek clipping about a woman being elected U.S. President. Elizabeth Dole.

Zounds. (Wherever did we leave that crystal ball of ours?) Be assured: As soon as the 2000 election results are tallied, we will be taking credit for predicting the Dole presidency!

In the meantime, I believe there will be other interesting developments in the years ahead. One surprise will emerge from California.

During a recent brainstorming meeting, we arrived at the assessment that by 2008, another Hollywood bigwig will attempt to fill Ronald Reagan's shoes. The most likely candidate? Steven Spielberg.

Think about it. Not only does he like to actively support liberal figureheads such as the Clintons. His recent movie portfolio (with Amistad, Schindler's List, Saving Private Ryan) appears to be the most effective campaign at lining up the support of powerful minority groups since movie actor Joseph Ejercito Estrada's grab for the Filipino presidency.

(James Passin will tell you more about his personal experiences with the closely intertwined Filipino movie and politics industries in an upcoming issue.)

In the meantime, let's hope that the rumored cancellation of U.S. National Guard leave and vacation before and after Dec. 31, 1999, is not a prelude to an unelected Four More Years of Slick Willie.

Cordially yours,

P.S.: After the multi-issue month of December, we're now back to our regular publication schedule. This Taipan issue will acquaint you with a number of great profit opportunities. Also, please review our round-up of the Taipan 1998 performance record.